Someday.....WHY NOT TODAY!!!!!

Well it’s been almost eight weeks since I stepped off the stage.  I’ve had a lot of ups and downs in this time period, and I’ve struggled a bit with transitioning into off-season.  A few things I’ve come to realize about myself in the past few weeks:

1.       Having no goals, even for a short period of time, is not for me. 

2.       I need to journal my thoughts and goals regularly otherwise my thoughts run randomly in my head and I feel disorganized and incomplete at the end of the day.

3.       I need structure, routine and balance in my life. 

4.       I didn’t have a plan after I decided to not compete in Worlds this year, this ended up with me feeling loss, empty and nothing to look forward to...enter post-competition blues. 

5.       Last week I got the kick in the butt that I needed.  It came from my husband.  He’s an honest, loving and caring individual whom I admire and love deeply.  I’m blessed to have a man like him.  We have our ups and downs and are far from perfect, but at the end of the day I can’t imagine sharing my life with anyone else but him….that and he loves my cooking ;)

6.       I am rushed all the time.  I need to slow down and take time to breathe and enjoy my life and those in it.

7.       I can be very hard on myself when it comes to several aspects in my life:  from beating myself up because gawd forbid I ate a chocolate bar and didn’t work it into my macros that day --  to -- I didn’t have time to make our bed or swiffer the floors.  It really isn’t the end of the world is it?

8.       I have amazing friends.  Fate controls who walks into your life, but you decide who walks out, who you let stay and who you refuse to let go. 

9.       I have a lot of opportunities around me that I need to take advantage of and not be so quick to shoot down and find the negative in them. 

10.   I am a strong, positive, independent, beautiful woman inside and out and it’s time to……

11.   GOAL SET for 2012!!!!!!!!!!!! Break out the journal!!!!!!

Fallin' Up - Confession Time

This past Sunday morning I had to send my first ever "I slipped up" email to my coach.

Confession time, here it is:  Saturday morning I laid awake in bed waiting from 4:00 a.m. until 6:00 so I could get out of bed and start my day.  You can't do much at 4:00 a.m. when your entire household is counting sheep and you're not.  I can guarantee there'd be some pissed off people and a grouchy dog if I started vaccuming at 4!!! Saturday was re-feed day, probably the reason I was wide awake at 4.  This sucked.  As the day went by I stayed food organzied and counted every gram of food that went in my mouth, but I got increasingly more grouchy and just wanted to eat and not care what I put in my mouth.  I resisted....until I couldn't and I just freakin gave in, I wanted to eat. 

After supper, the family got together for a night of card playing.  Uecker, wow I feel old writing that we played Uecker on a Saturday night...anyway....I first dug out the chips out of Grant's "stash", put them in a bowl and I ate the majority of them out of the four of us.  Then when those were gone, I went back into the stash and dug out the German Chocolate that Grant's family brought in August.  Ate that too.  Then I continued to eat some gingersnaps.  I know it doesn't sound that bad, but really it was.  The scale was ridiculous on Sunday morning. I didn't feel guilty until I sat down to write Eric....his response made me feel so much better and I quit beating myself up.  It happens, just get back on track and undo what I did.  My fear was that I had messed up my metabolism.  I cannot imagine my life without my coach!!!!

That all being said, I'm feeling better about things now and I'm sleeping much better, hey maybe I just needed some food.

Until next time

Cheryl

So Real....My recap of my first WNBF pro show :)

So it's been just over a week since I hit the stage for my first ever pro show!!!  I'm going to try to sum it up the best I can without making my blog too long.....here we go...

My mom and I headed to airport for our 6:00 a.m. flight to Newark on Wednesday the 14th.  I was randomly searched at security, hand swabbed, body searched, and bag searched.  Security took one meal from me that had thawed and turned to liquid.  I had a back up plan though and re-made the meal when I got to the gate. The flight was...bumpy....I consumed an entire box of chewable gravol and listened to my posing music for the majority of the trip.  We checked into our condo around 6:00 that night and the innkeeper filled us in on everything we needed to know.  The condo was exactly as stated online, clean, full kitchen, snacks, pots, pans, plates etc, separate bedroom and a living room with a pull out bed.   550 square feet for one week, it was perfect.  We went down the street and grabbed some groceries.

Thursday morning we awoke really early I think it was the excitement of being in NYC and I had to be near the financial district for my 11:00 a.m. polygraph appointment so I was feeling a little anxious.  We cabbed it to the polygraph test and ended up being over an hour early so we walked around a bit and had a coffee at Starbucks.  With the polygraph done, I was also done, it hit me that I was beat!  Back to the condo we went and started cooking and planning.  With Saturday's meals prepped and ready to go, I could relax a bit.  Friday I had to be at the host hotel for my spray tan.  In the taxi there, we had an opportunity to see a bit more of NYC and plan more of our touring for when I was done the show.  Mom was patient enough to wait for me before touring the city, she was content helping me for the first couple days.  For those of you who have never gotten two coats of spray tan by a complete stranger for a show, I'll fill you in....at this point of competition prep it doesn't matter at all who sees you completely nude.  The woman applying the spray tan has seen it all and when she tells you to face the back and bend over, you just do it.  Yes, she needs to get in every nook and cranny of your body.  With the humidity I was a slow drier so I had to hang around for what seemed an eternity, but really it was only an hour.

With the spray tan on and 250 grams of carbs down the hatch, it was time for pictures to send to Coach Eric to determine if I should eat some more carbs.  The word back was no more carbs.  So what does any good competitor do when there's no more macros to be eaten...you go to bed.  I had to be up at 2:30 to start posing and get a meal in by 3:00 a.m., so I was eager to try to get some rest.  I ended up being wide awake from midnight until 2:30.  I was starting to stress.  Not good.  I was second guessing myself...am I ready...will I ever be ready...will I remember my routine...will there be enough women for two weightclasses....will I look small...am I able to really do my own makeup without Amanda even though she drew me a paint by numbers picture...what does one gram of salt taste like and should I just fold it into my Reece Peanut Butter Cup...will I ever fall asleep....will I ever stop sweating???? I couldn't figure out why I had the air conditioning cranked but yet I kept waking up in pools of sweat!!!! I put my headphones in to try to shut out all my crazy thoughts.

I started posing and headed into the kitchen quietly so I wouldn't wake mom, she was awake already though.  I wanted to cry. I was terrified.  It was suddenly real.  Everything that I had been training for, eating for and focusing on was coming down to this day.  Terrified, excited, nervous, happy...gosh the emotions were insane!

The venue was a high school auditorium.  Martin Luther King High School.  It's huge! I had heard that the show was the biggest they had ever had, with a record number of natural athletes.  The pro physiques are amazing.  We are all on the stage because we're pros, some with more experience than others.  Some of these women started bodybuilding when I was graduating from high school.  Prejudging was an intense 35 minutes on stage of posing.  At one point the head judge said "I'm sorry to do this to you ladies but there's a whole lotta muscle on this stage".  I was shuffled around a few times and ended up being near the end of the line.  Off stage at 9:35, prejudging done.  I packed my stage bag and headed into the auditorium to find my mom.  That's when I ran into my blog follower from NY :) I finally got to a put a face to the name and it was great to see her!!! I got a little emotional and was sulking a bit, beating myself up.  With a hug and words of encouragement from her, I went into the seating area and found Brett, a fellow 3DMJ client. He is an amazing natural athlete and I cannot wait to see him in future competitions.

Back in a cab and on our way to the condo in complete silence.  In my head I was upset with myself.  I am my own worst enemy sometimes and I needed a pep talk...in comes text messages from Eric just at the appropriate time.  A quick little nap, another couple meals, and a change in attitude and I'm back in the kitchen laughing and having a good time with mom before the night show.

The night show was quick.  I did my routine, watched some of the pros do their's and decided I need to take some dance lessons and really sexy up my routine, wowzas!!! During that time I had the opportunity to meet three other ladies who were also doing their first pro bb show.  We exchanged laughs, email addresses, facebook info, all the usual.  I'm looking forward to meeting them again. All in all I had a good experience.  Back stage is a very different environment than the amateur level, it's quiet, competitive, no volunteers to help you glue your boobs and ass in your suit or touch up  your tan.  Each competitor is allowed one person with a trainer's pass.

I came in lean, I looked excellent, for my third time on stage, second time as a bodybuilder, I'm proud of what I brought to the stage for my first pro show and am eager to do it again. 

After the show I just wanted to walk...walk...walk...after all I did have a couple reece peanut butter cups so I had some energy to get rid of.  I'm not sure how far we walked and talked, but we finally found a great little deli and I had a delicous fresh made chicken wrap that I inhaled, along with a very large peanut butter chocolate chip square that I reluctantly let mom have a bite of.  We then walked some more and when we got back to the condo I had a banana and a handful of gingersnaps.  The next three days we toured around NYC until we came home on Wednesday night late...of course I was searched again!  I think if I see blue rubber gloves on anyone in the future I may go into convulsions. 

Oh and today happens to be my ten year wedding anniversary, we were married on a beautiful fall day in Basal Switzerland surrounded by Grant's entire family.  We celebrated on  Saturday night at our favorite Ruth Chris Steak House...best Ahi Tuna EVER!!!!!!

In good health :)

Cheryl

The Best One Yet...

Friday morning I woke up and the first thing on my mind was "I'm ready".  It's true, I am.  I'm pleased with my off season conditioning and my on season leaning out.  I'm hoping with peak week that I will lose another pound with the high carb intake, but other than that, yup I'm as ready as I'll ever be at this point.  I hauled up a suitcase from the storage room and have started crossing things off my list to pack.  Wednesday morning my mom and I are outta the house at 4:45 a.m.  I honestly did not feel like writing the blog this week so my sister wrote a great blog.  It made me cry when she emailed it to me.  Pam and I have had many ups and downs in our relationship, but we always come back to one another and I appreciate her honesty and love behind the blog that she wrote.  Enjoy :) I also attached two of our favorite pictures of the two of us together.  Yes one is in black and white...we are that old ;)

When Cheryl first asked me to write this week’s blog I had all of these great ideas I wanted to write but then I sat down and stared at a blank screen for hours not even knowing where to start! Well here we go……

The first thing I want to say is how excited I am for Cheryl to be heading to New York in a few short days. I know that she is going to kick some serious butt at this competition and I couldn’t be more proud of her. I only wish that I could be right there in front row cheering her on! Her dedication and devotion to this sport is at its peak during these finals weeks/days and it’s evident in everything she does. She’s exhausted; mentally, physically and emotionally. I keep reminding her that this is just a short term physical response to what her body is going through. Rest when she can, even if it means she’s up walking in the middle of the night because she can’t sleep. Sleep in the middle of the day if that’s what’s needed. Short term situation only!

These past few weeks have been especially grueling for her as we said goodbye to our Grandma. She lived in Lacombe and I live in Sylvan Lake so our family members spent a lot of time congregating at my house for the week that we were all mourning the loss. Unfortunately, Cheryl couldn’t come until the day of the funeral because of her strict program of exercise and food intake, not to mention she has company visiting from Germany.  It’s got to be difficult knowing that you’re a few hours away but the time it would take just to spend a day away from would be difficult. I know it weighed on her but she needed to concentrate on her competition.

Over the years when we were growing up I was a competitive swimmer and Cheryl went to every swim meet every weekend that she could…. for too many years to count. She sat in the bleachers (never too close to the water ;)) and cheered me on!! I hope that she was as proud as me as I am to see her follow through with her competitive dreams and aspirations.

Cheryl, please know that I will be with you in heart and spirit on the 17^th and I can’t wait to hear how well you did!!!

Labour Day (it's a holiday)

Labour day long weekend...last long weekend of the summer, so grateful that it's been a gorgeous one and the entire week will be like that, it's giving the landscaping a head start before the snow flies :)

So as of tonight I'm 13 days away. I'm calm, focused and on the homestretch. I have only one more thing to cross off my list of stuff and that is an extra bottle of bikini bite, I don't want any ummmmm nipple mishaps this year :p.

This past week has been a struggle mentally. As many competitors know it's usually around this time where the head games start. 13 days is not far, I tell myself that all the time! I started this journey and said I have eight months! Time flies! I find myself in bed at weird times of the day. Who am I kidding when I say I'm laying down for 20 mins? When I crawl under the covers and wake up two hours later in a pile of drool on my pillow I know I needed it. My brain is tired from the battles I have with it. No it's really not okay to eat the chocolate that the Germans brought from Germany. Yes, we have company visiting so on top of prep I am making wonderful meals, desserts and trying my best to stay me. Thursday I went to bed at 12:30 pm cried a little, napped a little and started my day over. This is when I'm grateful for my dear friends and my family.

Yesterday was refeed and omg I needed it, but it awoke a hungry beast in my belly that could not wait to wake up and eat this morning. My coach is working on my peak week, and this brought a smile to my face on Saturday. I even decided I'd start pricing out my flight for the next show which is six weeks afer this first one.

So this is the start of a new week. I'd really like to lose one more pound this week and report a 107 to Eric. I can do this and I will do this. There's a lot of craptastic food in my house right now. I tried to incorporate one of the chocolate bars into my day yesterday but nine grams of fat just didn't seem worth it to me when I only get 20 g in one day!

That's all for now, I still need to pose, stretch and count sheep...with a little help from the liquid melatonin ;)

In good health
Cheryl

I Can't Make You Dance

This week was rough, mentally, physically and emotionally. I am tired, hungry and snappy. I've got 20 days to go. I honestly find this part the most challenging. A mixture of emotions overwhelm me....excited, scared, nervous, happy, sad, it seems crazy to think I started this journey with the guys at 3D almost nine months ago. When I first started emailing Eric he was a complete stranger, now he is the first person on my mind as I step each foot on my scale every morning. We work well together and he always seems to know the right words to set my mind at ease.

This week I started afternoon napping lol. As many competitors know, sleep is not something we do well when we're close to stage time. First my naps were 20 mins and I'd set my alarm. The first one I woke up because my face was wet....yup DROOL! As the week progressed, my naps got longer, in fact Friday it was two hours! Last night was the first time I had a food dream. I dreamt I ate chocolate chips from the bag, weird, but I think because it was refeed day and I ate Greek yogurt with Dagoba cocoa in it before bed...wont do that again! I also got the top back to my posing suit yesterday. I had to get it redone to prevent any wardrobe malfunctions like last year :/ it's perfect now and we gave my mom quick bikini bite instructions. I also filled out my medical forms and signed my polygraph papers, now I just wait for the time and date for testing. One thing that did put my mind at ease was a Facebook friend discovered we are doing the same show and he is also a client of 3D! I'm so excited to meet him! I also did a photoshoot today and I'll share those pics as soon as I get them.

On a sad note we lost my grandma this week. Tomorrow is the funeral so I'm all food prepped and ready to go to sylvan Lake for the day. My sister and I are delivering the eulogy. I believe that my grandma is now in heaven dancing with my grandpa or sitting around playing cards. I hope she can bake her delicious chocolate chip cookies in heaven too :)

"Do not cry because it's over....smile because it happened" ~ Dr Suess.

Keep it Quiet and Stationary

A few months before the October 2010 INBF show in Calgary, I picked up the Edmonton Journal one morning and found an article/interview about a woman who had lost a significant amount of weight and was preparing for her first every figure competition.  I found her blog "Bikini or Bust" and followed religiously. Oct 16 came fast and before I knew it I was back stage at the Stampede Casino in a little room with a few other women...one of those women happened to be Donloree.  We connected immediately and have continued our friendship from that day onward.

About a month ago I called out to my Facebook friends to throw some questions at me that I could blog about.  DL gave me four questions to answer that required me to think....I'll start with the easiest one first.  She wanted to know about my egg white/blueberry omelette.  I sometimes crave bizarre things!  Simply mix together some liquid egg whites, blueberries, cinnamon (and any other spice) a dash of vanilla or star anise, spray a pan, make the omelette.  When you're about to fold it, this is where you can add what you need to meet macros...I'll sometimes mix up some chocolate pb2 with some Dagoba Cocoa, and spread that in the middle.  Or, if you're lucky and have some fat grams to spare, smear some almond butter with some cinnamon in there!!! Top with a spoon full of greek yogurt and enjoy.  Simple and tasty if you like sweet eggs :)

What does your support network look like? How did you create it in a single sport?
I am blessed to have a large support network around me.  My family plays a huge role in my life and support me in a way that I don't think a lot of people fully understand. They know if I'm in the kitchen with a scale, a calculator and food journal to just watch, don't talk to me while I'm calculating. My mom has done so many kilometres of walking with me and Hunter, that the poor women is going to waste away to nothing! My sister very rarely asks me how competition prep is going and I love that of her.  She makes me feel normal.  We talk about normal things!!!! I'm not all about competing so I do have a lot of friends around me who don't compete, let alone step foot in a gym.  I need that balance where I can talk to someone about normal everyday stuff. 

What have been your biggest 'a hah' moments along the way so far?
This one is difficult to answer.  I can't really say I've had 'a hah' moments, however a couple things stand out in my mind that may have been stepping stones along the way....ten years ago when I was in Europe I married Grant, I was 26 and weighed 142 pounds, 5'1" that's plenty of excess stored energy.  I ran daily, but I ate way too much with the concept of "I can have that second piece of cake and run it off tomorrow".  Eventually it catches up to you.  I remember reaching for another helping of linzer torte and my shirt crawled up my back, I reached back to pull it down and felt the dreaded BACK FAT!!!! I asked Grant if he could see it...his response was "yes", with his large hazel eyes staring at me saying a lot more than just "yes". When we returned home, I joined the gym. 

The other moment that really stands out is when I was at Costco early last year and walked down the book aisle.  I usually choose books that I can get lost in and escape my normal life.  At the time I wasn't at all interested in reading fluffy stuff such as the book I picked up..."The Power".  I didn't even flip through it, had no clue what it was about, I just liked the colours on the front (yup I'm a very simple person) I just threw it in the cart and continued onto the meat aisle. This book changed my entire outlook on life.  I started journalling, I started to pay attention to things around me, paying it forward, acknowledging the important people in my life, being grateful, loving and positive!  It's amazing how sometimes a switch just goes off in your head and your life is changed.  This is the only book EVER, in 18 years that I handed to Grant when I was done and told him to read it.  We both feed off of each other's positivity and make a good team that way. 

What are your life goals and  how does competing fit in with that?
This question is particularly hard for me to answer.  After Universe my next show is Worlds.  From there I need to sit down and breathe.  The past two years have gone way too quickly and I need to slow down my life a bit and relax.  I may take up drinking.  Is that considered a goal? I have promised Grant I'll take 2012 off from competing.  Ten years from now we will be 46 and 47, it'll be time to start looking for a place to call our retirement home. I'm not sure what will happen in the way of competing after taking a year off.  Only time will tell.....maybe I'll hang up the tiny posing suit and retire my love of the Black Eyed Peas for a short while....